Searching For Someone To Care

             Alicia Erian’s novel The Towelhead tells the story of the troubles of a thirteen year old Arab-American girl Jasira.  The title “Towelhead” refers to her father’s Arabian background. Although he no longer wore a turban, her classmates and neighbours still made fun of her and as a result, they nicknamed her “Towelhead”.  Her parents were divorced, and for most of her life, she had lived with her mother because she hated her father.  However, her mother’s boyfriend Barry began to like Jasira, and even began to shave Jasira’s pubic hair for Jasira without her mother knowing.  When she finally discovered that her boyfriend had been taking advantage of her daughter, she not only blamed her daughter for “seducing” him, but even forced Jasira to leave and go live with her father.   As a result, Jasira’s troubles began after she was sent to Houston, Texas to live with her father.  There, she faces problems not only at school but also at home with her father and her neighbours.

As the protagonist the novel, Jasira’s goal is to find someone who truly appreciates her for who she is so that she can have a purpose in her life.  However, because of her desire, she admired the wrong kind of people- perverts.  Although Jasira is only thirteen, her puberty had already begun and her body is much further developed than most girls at her age. In fact, her body is often even more attractive than a full grown woman.  As a result, multiple men became sexually attracted to her.  First, it was her mother’s boyfriend Barry.  Secondly, after Jasira moved to Texus, her neighbour Mr. Vuoso began sexually harassing her without anyone knowing; however, Jasira, despite knowing that he loved her body and not her, actually fell in love with Mr. Vuoso because she believed that he appreciated her, and because he made her “feel good” in certain parts of her body.

I believe that I am unable to relate to Jasira because although I was a Chinese boy that moved into a Caucasian society at a young age, I have never had to face racism from fellow classmates or from my neighbours.  Also, not only are my parents not divorced, they both love me so I do not need to be constantly search for somebody to appreciate me for who I am.  However, the novel is plausible because I know that many children with divorced parents have to face many problems because they often feel that their parents no longer love them (such as in Jasira’s case, where she has to find other people aside from her parents to love her).  In addition, since, racism occurred extremely often in the United States of America until a couple decades ago, it is extremely probable that there were children like Jasira who had to face racism at school.

Imagine You And Me

As well all know, "Valentine's Day" is also known as "Singles' Awareness Day".  My poem isn't dedicated to a specific person, but let's just pretend that I was writing a poem for a person from the past.  Also, I haven't written an acrostic in a while, so I thought that I would give it a try. =]

Imagine a world with just you and me,

Lying together, in the shade of that tree.

Our minds, thinking together as one,

Visioning our future, and how we’d have fun.

Every day, as long as you live,

You, I promise, will never cry.

One day, I’m sure, that you will see,

U will be happy, if you are with me.

Please, just give me one chance,

Look at me; give me more than a glance.

Every time I look into your eyes,

A fire in my heart, burns like the sun in the sky.

Save me from all this pain and grief,

Each day I wait for us to turn a new leaf.

Become mine, that’s all I ask,

Eventually you’ll know that it’s a fruitful task.

My love for you will never bend,

I will wait for you until the end.

No matter what price, you make me pay,

Each day I'll continue to love like today.

Choosing my own Dreams and Nightmares

As I stepped off the “Teacups”, my head span.  My vision blurred and my eyes were unable to focus on anything around me.  My ears could only hear the shrieks of agony from the pain in my head as it focused only on bringing me to the nearest restroom; however, my body would not listen to my thoughts.

"Watch out for the car!” my friend yelled as I felt a tug on my arm, pulling me backwards away from the road.  Half a second later, I felt a flurry of frigid air strike my face as the car rocketed pass me.  Despite nearly losing my life, much like an intoxicated man, I was still unable comprehend the danger of what had just happened.  My head only had one goal, and it was to force my body into the nearest restroom before I vomited all over the Lansdowne parking lot in front of my friends.

My ordeal at the Lansdowne carnival happened many years ago.  The experience was not the most painful one ever, but also the most shameful.  Since I was a toddler, I have had motion sickness; as a result, most attractions at amusement parks made me sick.  After nearly vomiting in front of my friends at the Lansdowne carnival, I promised myself that I would never step into an attraction at an amusement park ever again.  Despite my initial wishes, in just over a year later, I discovered myself in Orlando, Florida, which is not only home to the largest amusement parks in North America, but is also where I would have to face my greatest challenge.

It was April 2010, the month that I had been hoping to arrive for three years.  I was finally on my school trip to Orlando with my Spectrum class.  We could feel our own excitement in the warm, humid Florida air.

"We will be going to ‘Sea World’ first thing tomorrow class!”

 Chills began surging through my body as my teacher made the announcement.  As everyone else cheered, afraid that that somebody would see and question the fear in my eyes, I could only sigh to myself and force a smile. 

That evening, due to the long flight from Seattle to Florida, everybody was sound asleep by 10:00 pm.  Unable to sleep, the images of my ordeal at Lansdowne began to resurface in my mind.  I could hear the joyful screams from the passengers of the “teacup”, yet my mind transformed them into the shrieks of pain that I had felt in my head after descending from the attraction.  The cheerful laughter between friends at the park became offensive jeers as I imagined everybody laughing at my feeble self. When I fell asleep that night, my depressing thoughts only worsened, as my previous dreams of Florida became an endless nightmare.

The next morning, upon arriving at “Sea World”, my eyes could not depart from the ominous sea monster towering over the amusement park.  The “Manta” was “Sea World’s” most famous attraction because the rollercoaster carried its victims flat on their chest a hundred feet above the ground to give them a sense of flying.  From my point of view, the “Manta” was an eagle that carried its prey with its talons and dug its bloody claws into them before they were released to become the next meal for the eagle’s children.  Nicknamed the “devilfish”, my fear for the monster only worsened as my friends hustled me to the entrance of the “Manta’s” home.  The line-up shortened and before long, it was my turn.  As the “Manta” returned to incarcerate me, I knew that all I could do was pray.

"Three…two…one…whoosh!” was all I heard before I was launched into the skies.

Descending from the clutch of the “Manta”, I felt a thrill that I had never experienced before.  I surprised myself as my thoughts surfaced in my head; I wanted to embark on the adventure again.  Discovering that I had overcome my fear of amusement park attractions, I also realized that my greatest challenge was not with the “Manta”, but with myself.  The most difficult step was choosing to face my fear and board the rollercoaster.  As long as I could accomplish that, the fear in my heart quickly evaporated.  Looking back on all the pain and grief that I had endured the night before, I learned I was not the victim, but the culprit.  As a result, I promised that I would never force myself to undergo such pain because of my own fears ever again.

"Let’s go on again!”

This time, I would have no fear in my heart as I boarded the “Manta”.  As I embarked on the adventure again, I knew that my nightmares of Florida would quickly develop into the greatest memories of my life.